Horlick, Alabama – Yesterday, the watchdog group “Clean Earth Now” made public the existence of a recently discovered videotape revealing past environmental negligence by the London based multinational oil company BP Plc in the small town of Horlick, Alabama. As the value of stock in BP Plc continues to plummet in the wake of the disastrous Gulf of Mexico oil leak, many industry insiders speculate that the tape’s shocking footage will be the final nail in the 101-year-old global energy company’s coffin. Reporters given early access to the videotape described sordid details such as, “catastrophic environmental damage that will have lasting consequences on the local ecosystem for the next 50-75 years, graphic scenes of human misery and despair, and clips of a tight yellow speedo bulging with male genitalia.” The assistant deputy of Mudflat County, Wilbur Rickshaw, stated, ‘this whole here problem here could have been avoided if those goddamn city kids would stop smokin’ the wacky tobacky and woul’ keep their ger’damn hormones in check for even a few seconds longer than it takes a pig to shit in a sty.” BP Chief Executive Officer Tony Hayward was unavailable for comment.